Saturday, May 26, 2007

Shootout at Lokhandwala....

10 REASONS Y ONE SHOULDNT WATCH "Shootout @ Lokhandwala"

#1: Dont get carried away b the big star cast like AB, AB Junior, Sanjay Dutt, Vivek Oberoi, Suniel Shetty...I should have checked the name of the producers, Ekta Kapoor and Sanjay Gupta. Sanjay Gupta is notorious for making B Grade copies of classics like Resorvoir Dogs and Oldboy & Ekta Kapoor needs no intro...

#2: Just imagine Abhishek Bachan coming in an Enfield bike, chasing some Khalisani terrorists and gettin shot within 5 mins. Yup, hezzz dead...Reminded me of the "K" serials in which the hero is killed all on a sudden and his portrait hung on the wall either bcos he asked for a pay hike or Maam Ekta Kapoor was pissed of with him...Ditto for Abhishek Bachan

#3: Another producer of the movie is Suniel Shetty who has not learned the art of acting even after a decade of movies. He has the same "constipated" emotion thruout the movie and has a Hindi accent which would put Katrina Kaif/ Tom Alter to shame...

#4: We also have an Arbaaz Khan(with a mustache that keeps on fluttering in the Bombay breeze) who handles English ,hindi N uRDU one liners with elan...Tuff!!! Beta, its better for you spending time with your wife Maliaka Arora.

#5: Tushar Kapoor(who happens to be Ekta Kapoors bhai) who desperatley tries to be a tough guy but has a voice that sounds like a kitten which meows frantically.....He better concentrate on movies like "Good Boy, Bad boy" which suits him to a Tee

#6: Aarti Chabria(whoz that???) trying to look sensuous as a bar dancer in 3 horrible item numbers ...

#7: Apporva Lakhia who directed mega blockbusters like "Mumbai se aaya mera Dost" and "Ek Ajnabee". His personal relation with the Bachans would get him a good star cast, but direction is another game dude...And learn the art of copying from English movies from "Sanjay Gupta"..You made a mess out of the scene "inspired" from Ed Norton's American History X

#8: Mr. Amitabh Bachan (the lawyer who pleads for the cops in the court) makes an appearance every ten mins in the movie. I just wanted to ask him one thin "Kyun g--d mein guss .......???" Sadly for Bachan, ppl in the multiplex were so irritated with his role that they started walkin out wenever he came on screen

#9: The story( Police attack goondas in a residential building - kill 5 of them - activists come against them n move the court- Bachan Senior pleads their case - Victory- And they lived happily ever after) is so wafer thin that the director has to get fillers in the form of Abhisek Bachan, Amrita Singh and Rakhi Sawant!!!!!

#10" Diya Mirza (as a reporter with a weird name like "Tuttu Kuttu") and Neha Dupia(the quintessential officer's wife who complains that he has no time for family blah blah) who are the female leads...I wonder that Hindi movies cast heroines bcos there is a mandatory clause in the Bollywood Film act to have at least one wife/girlfriend/item number per movie)


1. Dawood Ibrahim always wears a dark cooling glass and sits by the pool side with a host of "firang" beauties in swim suits

2. Mumbai police do not need bullet proofs even if they are attacked by 1000s of bullets and rocket launchers....

3. During an encounter, police block all the roads and checkposts but do not cut the telephone lines so that the goons in the building can call up their family/ girl firends and say "tata, buy buy"... I luv Mumbai police.

4. Ray Ban is the official choice of all policemen and goons...everyone in the movie wears it except Arbaaz Khan

1. Number of cigarettes used: Sanjay Dutt(3 packs Marlboro) + Vivek Oberoi( uncountable)
2. Number of bullets wasted: 2000 +
3. Liters of blood: easily more than 10 gallons
4: Time taken to write the screenplay: 2 mins

On the whole, Lokhandwala is an "anmol ratan" which has to be send to the "cans" this year..

My rating = 1/10